February 2012
7 posts
therisebeforethefall:
I don’t know about you, but I know I can live without posting pictures of weed or myself smoking a bong.
But I guess there’s just something wrong with me.
(now quick, have a go at me. go on.)
This. 10000 times this.
Gay Marriage, and other things that aren't really...
In an effort to become a singularity comprised of ‘controversialcondescendingprickium’, an element I recently discovered in my poo, I have decided to start making my posts more about how you, and everything you may or may not stand for/think, are inherently flawed or irrelevant and why. Gay marriage has been in the news a lot these days so I figured hey, why the fuck not? Let me start...
Tumblr, We need to talk.
Dear me. Take a look at yourself. You need a good shave, a clean set of clothes and a steaming hot bowl of reality. If you’ll permit me a hipster moment (and, given that you actually have a Tumblr account that you update with any sort of regularity, I’m assuming you will), I had a tumblr way back before it became sort of the new MySpace (the 2006 MySpace, not the current...
January 2012
11 posts
Toni likes doodles
A fair few people liked my post about pineapple...
davey-joneslocker:
shellimaepersonal:
heres-one-from-the-heart:
Seriously girls, take my advice, drink some and your man or whoever should be a lot more enthusiastic about taking care of you. Another note: if they think you owe them and should take care of them afterwards, tell them to fuck themselves. They should be happy with taking care of you.
you sound like a columnist in a women’s...
Nobody wants to get stabbed in the shoulder with a...
It’s not cool, and it hurts.
TROLLING IS A ART: You Don't Know What Metal Fans... →
davey-joneslocker:
icomebeforeyouasasinner:
Throughout my prestigious and enviable career as a member of the metal-obsessed, I have taken on board a few of the stigmas that come with selecting such an untainted lifestyle (willingly, kind of like how they tell me Jesus was nailed to a few planks for a while). The metal fanatics that fought…
Oh james. You are brilliant.
Shut up baby I know...
4 tags
You Don't Know What Metal Fans Look Like So Shut...
Throughout my prestigious and enviable career as a member of the metal-obsessed, I have taken on board a few of the stigmas that come with selecting such an untainted lifestyle (willingly, kind of like how they tell me Jesus was nailed to a few planks for a while).
The metal fanatics that fought bravely and apathetically to help keep the genre in relative obscurity are my idols. The metalheads of...
4 tags
My 21st
Is in less than a month. My mind feels like it’s still 18 but my body feels so much older. I don’t think 17 year old me would believe where I am in life right now. It feels pretty great.
The only shit part is, I have become that cynical that I do not even care what, if anything, I do to celebrate it. I love my family/friends but I honestly am not willing to go out of my way to make...
December 2011
7 posts
Attention Minions
My girlfriend has tumblr now.
Follow her or feel my steely wrath upon your anuses.
http://therisebeforethefall.tumblr.com
A Piece Of Life Advice
With people who only want you around when they are in the mood, the converse also applies. Ignore them.
5 tags
The Greatest Song Ever Written
It’s boxing day, at about 3pm. Your presents have all been charged, worn, set up or eaten accordingly. Everything is shut so you can’t go out and buy anything with your Christmas money and everyone’s too tired/hungover from Christmas to hang out.
You have little choice but to listen to absolutely every song ever written in the history of mankind.
So that’s totally what I...
davey-joneslocker asked: this has saddened me.. you must be really bored. but, 17.
I Wish I Had
A really close female friend to talk to about female things.
November 2011
4 posts
That Other Awesome Moment
When people you don’t even know follow your blog just to get all uppety about what you have to say when your DP is a troll face.
A hearty welcome too:
mortphose.tumblr.com
musicpirate.tumblr.com (cool name bro, I too dislike the establishment).
mamblejambles.tumblr.com
Pull up a chair, sync up your cycles and get mad about what a 20 year old dude says on his free blogging account...
5 tags
Skyrim Vs Dark Souls
You knew it was coming. You felt it in the very deepest, blackest, most poo-encrusted region of your bowels. You knew it with the strength of every fiber in your body. You knew the two most eagerly anticipated RPG’s this year coming out at about the same time would not escape my steely gaze. Because you need me. You are incapable of divining a truly individual thought or educated opinion on...
October 2011
6 posts
I am not here
For you to shit on when you get lonely.
6 tags
The Worst 'Metal' Bands On Earth
It is beyond incontestable that heavy metal, in all its glorious incarnations, is the greatest music to ever befall the humble members of the human race, so it only makes sense that a whole lot of people really really want to lump whatever bullshit they listen too right on in with it. People, you cannot jam a square cock up a round arse. Attack Attack, for instance, are a good band, one of which I...
That Awesome Moment
When you post a picture you made in MSPAINT telling kiddies to cheer up about their nonproblems and they get supermad.
3 tags
Pokemon Is The Stupidest Thing Ever
Can everybody please shut the fuck up about Pokemon already? I swear to got people talk more about it now than they did back when there was only 150 (I refuse to count Mew) of the fucking things and we were all giddily trading holographic Charizards on the handball courts in year fucking five.
I get it. Your life is horrible. You parents won’t give you your allowance this week because they...
At least
now you know why I won’t say it to you.
September 2011
5 posts
Pretty sad that I won’t even answer private numbers anymore unless they ring twice.
Omerta
I am the result, whats better left unspoken
Violence begins to mend what was broken
Youve been talking, I’ve been all ears
Words meant to dwell in darkness shall never see the light of day
Words can be broken so can bones, execute the mandate
That Horrible Moment
When I feel like calling you to yell at you but then realize that if I do I will probably just spill all the bullshit I have managed to keep secret all this time and end up regretting it.
:D
I love it when someone who fucked you around cops it right back.
August 2011
8 posts
Im not the type to say I told you so babe
But I did.
6 tags
Why I Hate LMFAO
For those of you who live in a cave on Mars, this is LMFAO. They released the song Party Rock Anthem into the world a few months ago and since then it has been EVERYWHERE. On the radio, played in shopping centers and fast food places alike.
I hate them. I hate them so much that if I saw them in the street I would collapse and die of a rage overdose. I don’t hate them because I think their...
Steps I Have Taken To Get Over You
I’d like to dedicate this to someone who is following me. Not all of it applies to your situation, but I hope you know who you are.
In the past five months:
-Spend weeks alone feeling sorry for myself then end up trying to make it work with you again because it’s all I knew.
-Rebound relationship.
-End rebound relationship in realization of my thinly veiled attempt to replace you....
Fuck you
Your time is up
“I’ll never see WHAT YOU LIVE FOR!”
– Caleb Shomo
The worst part
Is that I now look at all my relationships in terms of what I know will end them. Ignorance is bliss. And I hate what you turned me into.
How to win at angry birds
1) Do year 12 physics.
2) Measure the dimensional scale.
3) Apply equations of projectile motion and measure angle of deployment with a protractor.
4) Never miss.
5) Win.
6 tags
July 2011
7 posts
I DID MY TIME
AND I WANT OUT
A joke my dad just told me
I was stopped at a red light the other day and a car load of Muslims pulled up next to me. Next thing I see a massive semi swerve across from the other side of the road and drive straight over them, crushing the car and missing my car by only a few feet. After the shock wore off, I thought to myself ‘holy shit that could have been me!’
So I went and got my truck license.